The "D" word

Parenting

Being a parent is hard. Being responsible for another person is always hard especially children. Parenting can be a lot like a tight rope act. We want our children to love us, and not be scared of us, but we also want them to grow up to be respectful and moral people. For my wife and I that means God fearing, but even if people don’t believe in God most parents, I’ll say most, because there are some stinkers out there, but most parents want their children growing up to follow some sort of code.

I know very few parents who hope their children will grow up to be murderers, thieves, and over all degenerates. Maybe Vlad the impaler. But most sane and normal people don’t want their children to turn out to be sociopaths. Sorry if I offended you for implying Vlad the Impaler was not normal. I meant to right out say it.

So the balancing act of parenting is fun parent and disciplinarian. Throughout the history of the world there are lots of parents who got this balance wrong. The disciplinarian who never learned to show affection and of course the growing trend today to want to be your children’s buddy so they don’t discipline their children because it might hurt their feelings, or squelch their personalities, or make them upset with us.

And I am not just talking about spankings. Now even techniques such as time outs are coming under scrutiny, and taking away a child’s favourite things could be viewed as bullying. In fact I would go so far as to say there are children growing up with parents who are not being parented.

Of course I am not here to criticize other parents. I get it, it is hard trying to find that balance is difficult, and even if you find the right balance disciplining a child can be difficult, because when a person is disciplined it often brings out a mix of emotions from anger to pain, regret and sorrow. Watching someone you love go through these emotions can be hard to watch. But a parent understands that it is love that drives us to try and correct bad behaviour.

And yes behaviour can be bad. For starters I would suggest breaking any of the ten commandments would be considered bad behaviour just about everywhere. And so I would attest to the fact that children need discipline. In some form or another, because children who never learn to accept correction turn into adults who refuse correction and become belligerent.

puts it this way,

Proverbs 9:8 NLT

So don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you.

So what about us. How do we respond to correction.

Hebrews 12:6 NLT

For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

We sing lots of different songs around here, and one say I’m a child of the king. The implications of that are far reaching. On one hand that makes us princes and princesses. That’s cool, but on the other hand that makes God our father and as a Good Good Father He Disciplines the ones He loves and punishes each one He accepts as a child.

So let me ask again...

How do we respond to correction?

To answer that question I want to look at . As you are opening your bible let me just give you a little info on what we are about to read. This passage was written by David and shows his response to being disciplined by God.

Psalm 39 NLT

For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David. I said to myself, “I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say. I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.” But as I stood there in silence— not even speaking of good things— the turmoil within me grew worse. The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, igniting a fire of words: “Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.” Interlude We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you. Rescue me from my rebellion. Do not let fools mock me. I am silent before you; I won’t say a word, for my punishment is from you. But please stop striking me! I am exhausted by the blows from your hand. When you discipline us for our sins, you consume like a moth what is precious to us. Each of us is but a breath. Interlude Hear my prayer, O Lord! Listen to my cries for help! Don’t ignore my tears. For I am your guest— a traveler passing through, as my ancestors were before me. Leave me alone so I can smile again before I am gone and exist no more.

How do we respond to correction?

Great Humility

Me: With five kids we have seen many different reactions to correction. They range from throwing themselves on the floor kicking and screaming, and having to be carried to their room or wherever to yelling “I hate you”, to “Crying you don’t love me” . Personally that last one probably hurts the most, but they are children, just learning how to receive correction. On occasion though They will look at me with sadness, not because they are upset they are being punished but because they know they were wrong… Pine chest… As a parent I felt mixed emotions, one one had I was glad they were acknowledging their wrong, but on the other hand it was still hard to see them experience that much sorrow as they accepted correction.

We: So that’s how children respond to correction, some good, and some bad. But what about God’s children? Sadly His children don’t always respond the best either. Sometimes we throw our own little temper tantrums don’t we. We say well maybe I just won’t give in the plate, or I’ll stop volunteering. Sometimes His children will even run away from home so to speak, because of correction. I’ve heard good Christian people cry out in response I hate you, or cry why don’t you love me anymore. I have to think that one hurts. Because God only corrects the ones he loves.

God: So what about David? What was his response? He starts out by biting His tongue. Sometimes when we are being corrected we want to talk bad about our discipliner. David determined he would not sin in that way. But in biting His tongue He also spook no good thing. This caused his words to grow more heated inside him so David did the right thing he went to God. And in doing so he acknowledged not just the brevity of life but because his current correction was due to his own rebellion. This admission of guilt helped David to defuse the powder keg that was about to explode inside him. In acknowledge his own error he also began to pled with God that the punishment would be over. I think that is fair. We have all been there being corrected is painful for a number of different reason. The correction itself and the shame and inward struggle that we wrestle with. Then in Conclusion David asks something of God which in the english translation seems confusing, David pleads with God to leave Him alone. But there is something significant about this. To really understand this we have to look at the original Hebrew

What David was really pleading was that he would once again be accepted by God. He wanted God to stop looking on him with punishment but rather with acceptance for this was the only way he could be happy. It is like when I am correcting Eli and he knows he is guilty what he says to me is, “stop talking to me”, or, “leave me alone”. Eli doesn’t want me to stop being his dad, he just wants the pain of guilt to be over. That was also true of David. He wanted the pain of His own guilt to be over.

Great Humility

The one thread that runs clear through David’s response though. Humility. It takes great humility to acknowledge your wrongs, and even accept you deserve punishment of correction. It also takes humility to honour God’s sovereignty even when He is correcting you. And it takes a great deal of humility to go to God and say I’ve learned my lesson can this punishment please be over.

You: Has God ever had to correct you? How did you respond?

We: As His children we will receive correction, because He loves us so let us respond with great humility like David.

Next Step: Let us sing Good good father as a reminder that as a Good Father He will correct His children if necessary.